Day 21

Day 21 and I am ANGRY. Archie has finally broken down and seems to be falling into a depression. He cried himself to sleep tonight after a long conversation in which we relived memories of the past. Archie wants to know why his dad doesn’t love him anymore. Archie wants to know why he didn’t get to say goodbye to his dad. Archie wants to know why, if his dad comes back, we couldn’t all live together again. I think these emotions may have been spurred on by the fact that we are moving out of our family home and in with my parents. Archie forms deep attachments to people and places (much like me). While his siblings seem to have been spared the full comprehension of abandonment because of their emotional immaturity, Archie suffers immensely because of his understanding and ability to deeply feel. No child should ever have to suffer this way. It is worse than a death because Archie understands that his dad chose to leave him. Although the kids and I did not choose this path, we are the ones left picking up the pieces. I usually try to refrain from self-pity; however, in this case I firmly believe that this is simply just not fair.